Authorized Articles » Humor » Do They Make Electric Security Blankets?

Do They Make Electric Security Blankets?

by: kphirst Total views: 26 Word Count: 416

Whenever Linus was in the Peanuts comic strip, he had his security blanket with him; but not all security blankets are blankets. Mine is an outfit - leggings and a long top. They're formal pajamas I can wear anywhere that's not formal. When I'm in my public pajamas, I think I can handle anything. If I can't, at least I'm ready to go back to bed and pull the covers over my head.

Some people think I pull the covers over my head when it comes to security systems. Security systems make most people feel safe when they're home and feel their home is safe when they're away. And then there's me. Because I forget to disarm various zones at a disarming rate, we didn't install a security system in our new home. We went with Plan B. Both the front and back doors are glass so we're hoping burglars can see there's nothing worth stealing.

Chicken soup, however, is a security system I can swallow. Its nurturing warmth says everything's going to be okay. Of course, it doesn't always say that in our house. In our house chicken soup doesn't say anything if we can't find the can opener.

To deal with missing can openers and other of life's surprises, I try to plan ahead. I try to foresee difficulties and have a worse case scenario ready. Although I try to deal with life's unexpected, there are times dealing tarot cards might be more effective.

"It fits like an old shoe" is an effective way to say you're comfortable in a particular situation - but maybe too comfortable. Doesn't change make us stronger? Every once in awhile shouldn't we try to squeeze our feet into glass slippers?

Every once in awhile children try their parents' patience. We want to know where they are and we want them home at a certain time. I explain it to my sons this way. I gave them life and I want to be sure they take care of it. That's when they smile and ask why parents think trouble only happens after missed curfews.

Trouble for me is public speaking. I'd rather have a dentist with hiccups give me a root canal than speak in public. Assurances I'll be fine aren't good enough. I want public speaking to be covered by my life insurance. I want security blanket coverage for someone who's scared to death.

About the Author

KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life. Take a minute to make yourself smile at http://knightwatch.typepad.com

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